I'm ChayYee biatch

I'm sorry to him...

I just can't understand why am I so stupid?

I keep making him sad & losing confidence...

I remember I said I want him to become the happiest guy in the world... & we should happily together... But look now, what am I doing? I have no idea...

I just hurt him again... I said I wanna break up... I don't know why? Then he was so sad & he just hung up the phone... My heart was like, Omg~~~~ What am I doing now? He asked me to think properly what I want... Is that what I want?

I was lying on the bed... I was thinking why am I saying that? Just in a week time, I'm doing all these... I'd promised myself to stable down & wait for him to come back... But, why? I'm definitely doing the wrong thing...

Then I SMS-ed him that I'm sorry... He has no reply... I know he's mad... Aikss.... I deserve it though... This is what I get after hurting my beloved... =(

After I apologised, he was asking me to think again... What did I just said is what I really want? Actually I'd regretted... He don't know why did I say so? Because I feel very insecure... He's just too far from me... I can't feel his existence... It's just like my previous life... Flirting in MSN then flirting on phone before bed then calling each other dear or darling or what-so-ever... I'm just so afriad that he will be like 'those guys'...

I can't stop crying... I was listening to what he said to me in the phone... He told me how he feels & what he thinks about us... It was pity of him... He thinks more than me... I just can't stop my tears from flowing out...

We'd talked a lot... I'd promised him to stop thinking too much... He wants me to become his good girlfriend... He wants me to trust him, stay by him side all the time... Kekekekeke...

I really miss him... Everyday I keep asking him to come back... I want him... Badly~~~