I met him in the old school which i used to go to. at the time he was dating my friend. We didn't talk much. Two years later i see him in the hall way walking alone i know he saw me, but we just kept walking. At lunch later on that day we see each other and we decide to talk. I invited him to a party I'm supposed to be in, and he accompanies me. We walk in hand-in-hand and i think it's sweet that i can have a friend like him. After that one party i get invited to a wedding and of course he comes with me. It's not until the after party that he tells me that he likes me and would like to be more than just friends. We start to date. Everything goes well.
He calls me up on day and is crying the caller-id says "pay phone" he sounds crazy and is talking about committing suicide. I yell to him not to do it but he just doesn't understand. He says he wants to fall asleep on the train tracks, an instant death he calls it. I stay all night on the phone with him and tell him that his life is worth living for. I tell him i love him and I hear those same words come from his mouth I can't believe what is happening, everything is happening so fast. I tell him to go home and to call me from there. 24 min. later I get a phone call, it's him. He's safe at home. Three weeks pass by and he finally thanks me. He tells me he was going through some hard times and his father had just told him he was a mistake. He said it's been going on for 10 years, and he thanks me again, crying and pleading to me that if i wasn't there for him that night he could of been on the front page of the local newspaper. It's been 5 months since that incident and I still tell him I love him. And it never fails; he always tells me back.
Realization From what I see, I am nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing has happened to me my whole life that hasn't happened to nearly everybody else on this planet. Except that I met Brian. Being in his arms were some of the happiest times I had ever experienced. I could look deep into his eyes and be enchanted forever. Being with him changed my soul. I felt his love prying apart the hard shell of shyness that encircled me. His trust, his love and his support for me lifted me from the earth and gently sent me into the clouds. He cast off the chains I had given myself. Through him I learned a new insight about the world. It was as if a tall, dark mountain had stood in front of me, and out of nowhere, he provided the wings to fly over it. We met at my work. We started dating each other and seeing more and more of each other every day, not knowing that we were falling in love. Soon we became a couple. Our relationship was everything it should have been, almost as if our time together had been written for a novel. We grew closer and closer during the school year. We would go to the movies, go out to eat, go shopping and most of all be with each other for a long time. I could hardly sleep at night, just anticipating the next time I would see him and the upcoming weekend we would be together. I shared everything with him, even things I kept from my family and my best friend. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Just like every other day, I went to school, saw Brian and came home.
I was in my own little world, living a fairytale life, when my parents called me in their room, and told my brother to go outside to watch T.V. "Sit down Minal." My dad said, with a disappointment in his voice. I looked at my mother mother. We exchanged a bazaar look. My parents had found a picture of Brian and I. His arm was around me in the picture. We were sitting right next to each other. From where I come from girls are not even allowed to have guy friends. In our culture we have arrange marriages. You first get married and then learn to fall in love. Love before marriage is forbidden. We have to marry someone who is Indian, not only that but he/she must be from the same cast as you are, or the society doesn't accept you.
I saw my parents holding the picture that they had found in my purse. My heart was beating faster by the seconds. I didn't know what to say. "Who is this guy? Why is his arm around you? Where did you meet him? How far have you gone with him? Are you pregnant?" My parents started asking questions, and they jumped to conclusions without knowing the full facts. The fact that Brian is white made them even angrier with me. "How could you do this to us? You let us down. You were our pride." My mother said, with tears in her eyes. I hurt them. I lied to them, just like every other time I had, when I went to go see him. "Mom, I am NOT pregnant. I wouldn't do anything to let you guys down. I met him at Shannon's birthday party, and I took a picture with him." They were still upset with me, for the fact that I had taken a picture with a guy. I had let them down. My father raised his voice, "Do you know what this means? Do you know what would happen if anyone of our relatives were to find out about this? I would be kicked out of this society. Do you know what my friends and relatives think about you?" They thought that I was this perfect Indian girl, who doesn't go to the parties, doesn't associate with guys, and believes in Hinduism. It really hurt me when my mother said that I had let them down. While ripping the picture into thousand pieces, my mother said, "This is it. It's going to end right here. We have given you too much freedom. No more hanging out with friends! No phone calls! Your friends are not Indian and they are bad influence on you. Go to school and work, and stay home, till we find a nice husband for you. Now go to bed!" They took away all my privileges after that. I apologized and promised them that I would not do anything to let them down ever again.
I couldn't sleep at night. I cried the whole night. My world had turned upside down. I kept thinking about everything that had just happened. I realized that our cultures differed. There was no way that our Indian society would accept Brian and I together. No matter how much I loved him, it didn't matter. He is white and by Bhagvat Gita (Indian Bible) I am not allowed to be with someone who is not Indian. I couldn't do this to him or my parents. I realized that I am Indian and I always will be, there was nothing I could have done to change that, and I didn't have the strength to hurt my parents again. I knew I had to sacrifice my love for my parents' happiness.
The following day, I went to Brian's house, and told him what had happened. I also told him that my parents would never accept him in my life. I broke up with him. The words wouldn't come out of my mouth; I had to force them out of me. We said good-bye to each other. Tears came out of my eyes. He dropped me off at work. I just sat outside by my car and cried for about 2 hours. "How could I let him just walk out of my life?" I asked myself. Nothing felt right. I felt so empty inside. I couldn't take it. I knew I wanted to see him one last time. I was hurting.
I got in the car. I drove there as fast as possible. I knocked on the door. No one answered. I let myself in. He wasn't in his room; I checked every room in the house. Finally, I saw him sitting outside by the swimming pool, with a confused look on him face. He looked deeply hurt. I couldn't do this to him. I went running in the backyard. I told him to just hold me. When he held me, it felt so right and safe in his arms. I didn't want to let him go. I told him I couldn't live with out him, and I asked him to take me back in his life. Without hesitating, Brian said "My doors will always be open for you. " I told him that the reason I had broken up with him was because I didn't want to hurt him later down in the road. "By God, I love you Brian. But later down in the road if we get serious, I can't be with you. I have to marry the person whom my parents pick out for me." I said, with tears in my eyes. I had told Brian about the situation when we first started seeing each other, but I didn't know that it would actually come to this point. Brian held my face and said, " I knew what I was getting myself into, when I first met you. You still have few years before your parents marry you off. Maybe you will change your mind by then."
All I knew was that I needed him in my life, and I was willing to go through anything to be with him. I couldn't loose him at any cost. We have been together for nine months. We have our ups and downs. Sometimes we fight and don't get along, for us that's right and sometimes it's wrong, but in our hearts we both know that we'll always love each other. Ever since that day my parents haven't found anything. Every day I pray to God, I ask him to help me make the right decisions in life. I ask him to give me strength and courage to stand up for myself, and most of all I ask him to help me not to hurt the people that I love and care for the most.
-----------------------------------------------------------
If it's u, what will u choose? What will u do? Leave him? Or continue you lie? Love is sacrifice.
To meet a guy that really gets along is not easy. Some said it's luck, some said it's all destiny. Nobody knows.
He calls me up on day and is crying the caller-id says "pay phone" he sounds crazy and is talking about committing suicide. I yell to him not to do it but he just doesn't understand. He says he wants to fall asleep on the train tracks, an instant death he calls it. I stay all night on the phone with him and tell him that his life is worth living for. I tell him i love him and I hear those same words come from his mouth I can't believe what is happening, everything is happening so fast. I tell him to go home and to call me from there. 24 min. later I get a phone call, it's him. He's safe at home. Three weeks pass by and he finally thanks me. He tells me he was going through some hard times and his father had just told him he was a mistake. He said it's been going on for 10 years, and he thanks me again, crying and pleading to me that if i wasn't there for him that night he could of been on the front page of the local newspaper. It's been 5 months since that incident and I still tell him I love him. And it never fails; he always tells me back.
Realization From what I see, I am nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing has happened to me my whole life that hasn't happened to nearly everybody else on this planet. Except that I met Brian. Being in his arms were some of the happiest times I had ever experienced. I could look deep into his eyes and be enchanted forever. Being with him changed my soul. I felt his love prying apart the hard shell of shyness that encircled me. His trust, his love and his support for me lifted me from the earth and gently sent me into the clouds. He cast off the chains I had given myself. Through him I learned a new insight about the world. It was as if a tall, dark mountain had stood in front of me, and out of nowhere, he provided the wings to fly over it. We met at my work. We started dating each other and seeing more and more of each other every day, not knowing that we were falling in love. Soon we became a couple. Our relationship was everything it should have been, almost as if our time together had been written for a novel. We grew closer and closer during the school year. We would go to the movies, go out to eat, go shopping and most of all be with each other for a long time. I could hardly sleep at night, just anticipating the next time I would see him and the upcoming weekend we would be together. I shared everything with him, even things I kept from my family and my best friend. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Just like every other day, I went to school, saw Brian and came home.
I was in my own little world, living a fairytale life, when my parents called me in their room, and told my brother to go outside to watch T.V. "Sit down Minal." My dad said, with a disappointment in his voice. I looked at my mother mother. We exchanged a bazaar look. My parents had found a picture of Brian and I. His arm was around me in the picture. We were sitting right next to each other. From where I come from girls are not even allowed to have guy friends. In our culture we have arrange marriages. You first get married and then learn to fall in love. Love before marriage is forbidden. We have to marry someone who is Indian, not only that but he/she must be from the same cast as you are, or the society doesn't accept you.
I saw my parents holding the picture that they had found in my purse. My heart was beating faster by the seconds. I didn't know what to say. "Who is this guy? Why is his arm around you? Where did you meet him? How far have you gone with him? Are you pregnant?" My parents started asking questions, and they jumped to conclusions without knowing the full facts. The fact that Brian is white made them even angrier with me. "How could you do this to us? You let us down. You were our pride." My mother said, with tears in her eyes. I hurt them. I lied to them, just like every other time I had, when I went to go see him. "Mom, I am NOT pregnant. I wouldn't do anything to let you guys down. I met him at Shannon's birthday party, and I took a picture with him." They were still upset with me, for the fact that I had taken a picture with a guy. I had let them down. My father raised his voice, "Do you know what this means? Do you know what would happen if anyone of our relatives were to find out about this? I would be kicked out of this society. Do you know what my friends and relatives think about you?" They thought that I was this perfect Indian girl, who doesn't go to the parties, doesn't associate with guys, and believes in Hinduism. It really hurt me when my mother said that I had let them down. While ripping the picture into thousand pieces, my mother said, "This is it. It's going to end right here. We have given you too much freedom. No more hanging out with friends! No phone calls! Your friends are not Indian and they are bad influence on you. Go to school and work, and stay home, till we find a nice husband for you. Now go to bed!" They took away all my privileges after that. I apologized and promised them that I would not do anything to let them down ever again.
I couldn't sleep at night. I cried the whole night. My world had turned upside down. I kept thinking about everything that had just happened. I realized that our cultures differed. There was no way that our Indian society would accept Brian and I together. No matter how much I loved him, it didn't matter. He is white and by Bhagvat Gita (Indian Bible) I am not allowed to be with someone who is not Indian. I couldn't do this to him or my parents. I realized that I am Indian and I always will be, there was nothing I could have done to change that, and I didn't have the strength to hurt my parents again. I knew I had to sacrifice my love for my parents' happiness.
The following day, I went to Brian's house, and told him what had happened. I also told him that my parents would never accept him in my life. I broke up with him. The words wouldn't come out of my mouth; I had to force them out of me. We said good-bye to each other. Tears came out of my eyes. He dropped me off at work. I just sat outside by my car and cried for about 2 hours. "How could I let him just walk out of my life?" I asked myself. Nothing felt right. I felt so empty inside. I couldn't take it. I knew I wanted to see him one last time. I was hurting.
I got in the car. I drove there as fast as possible. I knocked on the door. No one answered. I let myself in. He wasn't in his room; I checked every room in the house. Finally, I saw him sitting outside by the swimming pool, with a confused look on him face. He looked deeply hurt. I couldn't do this to him. I went running in the backyard. I told him to just hold me. When he held me, it felt so right and safe in his arms. I didn't want to let him go. I told him I couldn't live with out him, and I asked him to take me back in his life. Without hesitating, Brian said "My doors will always be open for you. " I told him that the reason I had broken up with him was because I didn't want to hurt him later down in the road. "By God, I love you Brian. But later down in the road if we get serious, I can't be with you. I have to marry the person whom my parents pick out for me." I said, with tears in my eyes. I had told Brian about the situation when we first started seeing each other, but I didn't know that it would actually come to this point. Brian held my face and said, " I knew what I was getting myself into, when I first met you. You still have few years before your parents marry you off. Maybe you will change your mind by then."
All I knew was that I needed him in my life, and I was willing to go through anything to be with him. I couldn't loose him at any cost. We have been together for nine months. We have our ups and downs. Sometimes we fight and don't get along, for us that's right and sometimes it's wrong, but in our hearts we both know that we'll always love each other. Ever since that day my parents haven't found anything. Every day I pray to God, I ask him to help me make the right decisions in life. I ask him to give me strength and courage to stand up for myself, and most of all I ask him to help me not to hurt the people that I love and care for the most.
-----------------------------------------------------------
If it's u, what will u choose? What will u do? Leave him? Or continue you lie? Love is sacrifice.
To meet a guy that really gets along is not easy. Some said it's luck, some said it's all destiny. Nobody knows.
1 如果你喜欢他就告诉他，即使他拒绝了，也不会丢面子，因为在他心里，会因为你的真情而非常非常感激你。
2 如果他喜欢你，要明确告诉他你对他的感情，喜欢就是喜欢，不喜欢就是不喜欢，千万不要怕伤害他而忧郁不决，不要让他等到最后才受到抛弃，因为男孩子的心一旦碎了就很难很难再好起来。
3 男孩子也有自己的脾气，只是因为爱你而压抑着，不要总是任性，有时他们的决定也很有道理.
4 男孩子莫名的向你发脾气，那时因为爱你，把你当成最亲，最贴心，最有安全感的人，千万不要冲他发脾气反击，静静的等着，等他消气后满怀后悔来抱你。
5 他为你准备的东西，即使再难看，再廉价，也要去珍惜，因为那里面融汇着他整晚的思绪。
6 相信他给你多么多么美好的生活，要给他鼓励，因为鼓励会让他创造奇迹。
7 不要总是打探他去哪，告诉他注意安全，你会等着他就可以。
8 不要总说~我爱你~，他会半真半笑着说你烦，但不要不说，因为有时候，他们比女孩子更需要这句。
9 他为你掉眼泪了，那么他是真的非常爱你，珍惜他的每一滴泪，不要道歉，不要安慰，握着他的手，默默的为他擦去泪滴。
10 要信任他，他爱你，就什么都不会骗你，即使真的有欺骗，也是为让你们的爱情能够永远不离不弃。
看见了吗？？？
要牢牢记住这十句话！！！
那。。。你也不能自私。。
Did anyone remember what day is that?
Even my mama also couldn't remember it...
How sad....................
I was thinking of organising a small gathering at Red Box, Pyramid.
On Saturday 18th Oct, 2008.
Shu Yi asked me to do so as she said it's been a long time we never go for "sing-k"
But it seems like troubling my friends to attend it.
So, after telling Mun Ya and Lee Yien about it, I'd decided to cancel it.
Wasted their time to listen to my nonsense... Sorry sorry...
Hahaha...
Anyway, I'm fine...
Happy birthday to me soon......
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